Katy:
When I imagined breastfeeding Scarlett, I always thought I would struggle to supply enough. I’ve had really small breasts my entire life, and though I know now that has nothing to do with milk production, I think having such small breasts gave me a bit of an inferiority complex of always not having enough so I associated that with not producing enough. However, when she actually got here, that was definitely not the case.
Our struggles with breastfeeding began in the hospital, because firstly, my baby simply would not stay awake when she was near me. She could be wide awake in someone else arms and the moment she entered mine, she’d fall limp asleep. This was the first thing that made it a challenge, but that also came with the fact that my baby seriously sticks her tongue out A LOT, like she’s just a precious little weirdo, who, for whatever reason, sticks her tongue out a lot. Latching just was not happening well, even though according to one of my lactation consultants, I’ve got the “perfect anatomy for latching” aka button nipples, I guess.
So Scarlett and I worked to overcome those things, but once my milk truly started to come in, the letdown was so strong and overwhelming for her that it would cause her to spit-up. Not only that, but I developed a simultaneous letdown almost immediately, so while she would feed, my other breast would just be wasting a lot of milk.
Speaking of losing milk, Scarlett has always been a super big fan of mommy, and what with my quick letdown and high volume production, her simply wanting a drink of milk was putting me into a lot of discomfort. She wouldn’t outright feed for long periods, but instead start this grand letdown, only to get a sip, then smile up at me and play with my nipple. We were both basically just covered in wasted breastmilk the first two weeks. Finally, my overproduction built up so much that my baby’s shenanigans around feeding became literally painful for me. I was producing around 40 ounces/day for months within breasts that each have one adipose tumor, so I needed to have my breasts emptied to relieve pressure on those tumors, and at the level I was producing, my tiny baby was never going to be able to provide that relief for me.
The more I pumped and bottle fed, the more I liked the lasting feeling of relief and the fact that we could track much more closely how much our little one was eating. Besides, within weeks of having her, I began on a cycle of repeated thrush of the nipple outbreaks that she never once caught simply because I was exclusively pumping. Pumping only brought a lot more opportunities for my babydaddy and boyfriend, Raul to help so I could rest, it helped Scarlett to feed and grow more efficiently, and it helped me with constant pressure in my chest.
Amanda:
I had every intention of breastfeeding Blake while I was pregnant. I bought the cute nursing scarf and the nipple cream and saved a bunch of Pinterest articles on perfecting the latch. So when Blake was born he was immediately placed on me, and holy moly, he actually latched! It was incredible, until he instantly fell asleep and stopped feeding. While I was at the hospital the lactation consultants were constantly in my room showing me how to keep Blake stimulated enough to keep eating, but the boy was always either falling asleep or just losing interest.
When we got home, it only got worse. Each nursing session literally took about an hour and a half. He would latch for a little, fall off, and fall asleep. I would try my best to wake him by rubbing his ears or tapping his cheeks until he would latch again, fall off and then fall asleep once more. The night feedings were the absolute worse. I would sit up in bed for that hour and a half, trying and trying to feed my baby, completely unsure if he was actually getting any milk. I would then put him in his bassinet to sleep and not even 30 minutes later he would be up crying for more milk. It honestly felt like I did not sleep for two weeks straight.
After those two weeks, Blake’s pediatrician recommended pumping and supplementing with formula to increase his weight. That night I went home and pumped about 4 oz of milk in 10 minutes. I gave Blake 2 oz of it in a bottle for the first time. Within 20 minutes it was gone. I was shocked. There was no way feeding my baby could be this easy.
Once I switched to pumping, life got better for all of us. I could actually sleep at night. My husband could share in the nurturing of helping feed Blake. Blake could fill his tummy with ease. I also LOVED knowing exactly how much milk Blake was getting. It was such a comfort in seeing the milk disappear from the bottle, and to be able to track how many ounces he was getting per day.
Of course, pumping has its drawbacks. I used the Hygeia Enjoye Double Breast Pump and with every pump session came the annoyance of washing every individual pump accessory. Pumping is also pretty time consuming. In order to keep your supply up, it’s recommended to drain each breast completely during your pumping sessions. For me, that took about half an hour. So pumping 4 or 5 times a day, meant literally being strapped to the machine for hours throughout the day.
However, knowing your baby is comfortably getting the best possible nutrients is always going to make pumping worth it. I’ve been pump-free for about a month and a half now, and Blake is enjoying his formula and baby foods. Pumping was the right choice for Blake and our family for his first six months, and now formula and homemade baby foods are the right choice for now. As they say, “fed is best!”, and I believe that if your baby is happy and healthy, then you’re probably making the right choices.
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